September 2008 Archive |
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Jaguar Love
Take Me to the Sea
Review By Chris Drabick
Remember the scene in This is Spinal Tap in which Rob Reiner’s character is quoting the band some of their more vitriolic press notices? In the sequence, he mentions the two-word review for their record Shark Sandwich; “Shit sandwich.” To this fine tradition, I would love to add my two-word summation of the debut from the Blood Brothers/Pretty Girls Make Graves amalgam Jaguar Love; “Jaguar hate.” I simply have neither the patience nor the stomach for this unlistenable drivel.
Where to begin and end? You can certainly start with the Geddy Lee castrato caterwauling of former Blood Brothers’ vocalist Johnny Whitney; if ever a dude tried to fool himself into a career in art-punk rather than the more appropriate one in hair metal, Whitney is him. You may have hoped the demise of his former band meant the end of this guy’s wailing on record, but no such luck. Next are the hook-less and tuneless “songs” presented here, distinguishable only by insipid titles like “The Man With the Plastic Suns” and “Bats Over the Pacific Ocean.” Just when you think things couldn’t get any less listenable, the record ends with its’ worst number, the aimless and worthless “My Organ Sounds Like…,” the title of which could most easily fill in those ellipses with “…the Superfluous Meanderings of Delusional ‘Musicians.’” And let’s end on the implied belief on the part of these three nitwits and their record label that this entire enterprise is somehow a worthwhile endeavor. It was not.
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